Smokie’s “Who the F*** Is Alice”: A Curious Question Wrapped in a Catchy Tune
Some songs, you remember for their profound lyrics, their soaring melodies, or the way they perfectly encapsulate a moment in time. Then there are those that just stick in your head, refusing to leave, often because of one unforgettable, slightly scandalous line that everyone starts repeating. For many of us who remember the vibrant, often unpredictable music scene of the 1970s, Smokie’s “Who the F*** Is Alice” falls squarely into that latter category. This wasn’t just a song; it was a phenomenon, a mischievous wink that found its way onto airwaves and into conversations across the globe.
Originally released in 1976 as “Living Next Door to Alice” from their album Midnight Café, the song itself was already a modest hit for the British rock band, reaching No. 3 in the UK Singles Chart. It was a pleasant, albeit somewhat melancholic, tale of unrequited love and missed opportunities, a classic narrative of yearning for the girl next door. However, the story took an unexpected, rather cheeky turn over two decades later. In 1995, Dutch DJ and producer Peter Koelewijn, known by his stage name Peter Koelewijn & Zijn Rockets, was performing the song live at a festival. During a pause in the lyrics, when the line “Alice? Who the hell is Alice?” would typically come up, an audience member shouted out the now-infamous expletive. This spontaneous, unscripted moment of rebellion resonated deeply with the crowd, and a legend was born. Koelewijn, with a keen ear for what makes an audience tick, quickly capitalized on this, creating a version that incorporated the very same interjection. This live, uncensored outburst transformed a sweet, wistful tune into an irreverent, unforgettable anthem.
The meaning of “Who the F* Is Alice”** is, paradoxically, both simple and profound in its simplicity. It cleverly takes the original song’s unrequited longing for a mysterious “Alice” and injects a dose of playful exasperation and curiosity. The original “Alice” was merely the elusive object of affection. But with the addition of that notorious phrase, “Alice” becomes a figure of collective bewilderment. Who is this woman that everyone seems to know, everyone talks about, yet remains just out of reach, or perhaps, entirely unknown to the listener? It taps into a universal human experience: that feeling of being on the outside of an inside joke, or the mild annoyance of hearing about someone constantly without ever meeting them. It turned a personal lament into a shared, slightly mischievous query, making listeners complicit in the question.
The impact of this re-imagined version was nothing short of astounding. Smokie, recognizing the incredible viral potential, re-recorded the track with controversial comedian Roy “Chubby” Brown on vocals for the expletive part, and re-released it in 1995 as “Who the F* Is Alice”**. This audacious move paid off handsomely. It wasn’t just a hit; it became a global sensation, particularly in Europe, where it climbed to the top 10 in several countries. It even managed to re-chart in the UK, reaching No. 17, proving that sometimes, a little bit of irreverence can go a long way.
For those of us who lived through that era, “Who the F*** Is Alice” brings back a flood of memories: late-night gatherings, pubs filled with laughter, and the sheer audacity of a song that dared to be so delightfully impolite. It’s a testament to how popular music can evolve, morphing and adapting to cultural shifts and audience participation. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the most memorable moments in music aren’t meticulously planned but emerge from the spontaneity of a live performance and the collective spirit of a moment. And for that, we can all raise a glass and perhaps, still wonder, “Who the F*** is Alice?”