“Alice! (Who the Fuck is Alice….?)”: A Catchy Query into Unrequited Love
There are some songs that, through sheer force of unexpected popularity and a memorable, almost-too-familiar refrain, become ingrained in the fabric of popular culture. For many of us, especially those who recall the late 1990s party scene or have a fondness for enduring ’70s rock, Smokie’s “Alice! (Who the Fuck is Alice….?)” is precisely one such track. But before we get to the boisterous, expletive-laden version that gained a second life, it’s important to remember the original, more innocent tale.
The song’s origins lie with the British band Smokie and their 1976 hit, “Living Next Door to Alice.” Written by the prolific songwriting duo Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman, the original “Living Next Door to Alice” was a worldwide success, reaching No. 5 on the UK Singles Chart in November 1976 and making it to No. 25 on the US Billboard Hot 100 in March 1977. It was a chart-topper in multiple European countries, including Austria, Germany, Ireland, the Netherlands, Norway, and Switzerland. This classic track was a cornerstone of Smokie’s album Bright Lights & Back Alleys.
The story behind the original “Living Next Door to Alice” is a classic, bittersweet narrative of unrequited love and missed opportunities. It tells the tale of a man who has lived next door to a woman named Alice for 24 years, silently harboring feelings for her. He watches her grow up, sees her through his window, and hears of her life through a mutual friend, Sally. The moment of truth arrives when Sally informs him that Alice is moving away, and he sees her drive off in a limousine, leaving him heartbroken and full of regret for never having expressed his true feelings. In a twist, the final verse reveals that Sally, the mutual friend, has been waiting for him for 24 years, but his focus remains entirely on the departed Alice. It’s a poignant reflection on the “what ifs” and the lingering pain of unspoken affection, a theme that resonates deeply with anyone who has ever loved from afar.
Now, the “Who the Fuck is Alice….?” version is where the story takes an amusing turn. This now-famous interjection actually originated from a live audience phenomenon. When Smokie would perform “Living Next Door to Alice” in concert, particularly in certain European venues, there would be a pause after the line, “For 24 years, I’ve been living next door to Alice.” During this silence, audience members, perhaps fueled by a few drinks and a mischievous spirit, began shouting, “Alice! Who the fuck is Alice!?” This spontaneous, often raucous, outburst became a staple of their live shows.
In 1995, a Dutch band named Gompie capitalized on this phenomenon by releasing a novelty version of the song, explicitly incorporating the expletive-laden interjection. This version became a massive hit, particularly in Europe, reaching No. 1 in the Netherlands and gaining significant chart success elsewhere. Seizing on this renewed interest and the viral nature of the phrase, Smokie themselves collaborated with British comedian Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown in 1995 to release their own official version titled “Alice! (Who the Fuck is Alice….?).” This version, featuring Brown’s gruff interjections, was incredibly popular, peaking at No. 3 on the UK Singles Chart. Tragically, it was released around the time of the passing of Smokie’s singer, Alan Barton, with proceeds from the song going to his family.
So, while the original “Living Next Door to Alice” is a tender, melancholic reflection on unrequited love, the “Who the Fuck is Alice….?” version adds a layer of irreverent, almost cathartic, humor. It speaks to the universal frustration of a mystery, a figure just out of reach, but it does so with a wink and a knowing smirk. For those of us who appreciate a good singalong, especially one with a bit of a rebellious edge, this later iteration holds a special place. It’s a testament to how a song can evolve, taking on new life and meaning through the sheer, unscripted participation of its audience, ultimately creating an enduring, if slightly scandalous, piece of musical lore.